On supporting other women: When will women reach equality in pay, power and influence? I truly believe the first step is when women stop competing against each other and tearing down other women. Imagine the beautiful and empowering world we’d create if women helped boost other women up, and focused on supporting each other. We are all on the same team. We are all after the same thing: love and acceptance.
How Amy makes a difference: I write articles that discuss issues that focus on having healthier relationships – relationships with friends, partners and most importantly the relationship with the self. I share my experiences and am raw and honest about the feelings and thoughts I have. I hope that if even one reader out there reads one of my blogs and feels a little less alone, and a little more understood, I am making a difference.
Role model: My sister, Alice Chan. She has shown by example that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. She didn’t just talk about change; she went and did it – in her career, moving to New York, becoming a high level executive in the day while taking stand-up comedy on the side… She juggles so much but manages to always be generous, thoughtful, gracious and kind. What a woman!
Words to live by: SUCCESS “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty.to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” —–Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this quote because I think our society often has a definition of success that at the end, does not create happiness and fulfillment. I think we go around chasing the wrong things. If we changed our perspective on what success was, and based it on the wealth of our relationships and contributions to the world versus the size of our bank accounts, I think we’d have a happier society.
Best advice you’ve ever been given? The 5 people you associate yourself the most with, you become.
Advice would you give your younger self? Your empowerment, self-worth and sense of fulfillment is not created by fancy clothes, a perfect body or obsessing over physical beauty. It doesn’t come from tearing other females down. It doesn’t come from men.
Your empowerment comes from your contributions, your accomplishments, your integrity, your values and how you love and care for others. The other stuff doesn’t last. It can feel good for a moment, and sometimes a long moment, but eventually, it all fades. And you’re left with nothing – except with what you created within.
I would tell her that before you can create a healthy relationship with another, you yourself need to be healthy. And that comes from respecting yourself and your body, having boundaries and determining your moral compass and not veering from that path.
Advice you would tell other young women today? I think a lot of women focus a majority of their energy and head space devoted to finding a man and keeping a man. I admit I was once there too. In that mentality, it’s as if marriage is the ultimate goal for a woman. Perhaps it’s because of how we were raised or what we were taught by society. But this equation doesn’t seem to pan out for the woman too well at the end. I’ve seen myself and too many other fabulous females lose their sense of self, independence and own financial security because of a relationship, and I don’t think that’s healthy or sustainable. So I’d tell other women out there, keep your independence, your own hobbies and never lose your community of friends. No matter how in love you are, don’t transfer all your energy and effort into nourishing only your romantic relationship; leaving your friendships to wither away as last priority.
On values: In your twenties, you are making a lot of mistakes and hopefully learning from them. You don’t have a strong sense of your values because you’re still trying to figure them out. Part of growing up is determining what your values are, and using your moral compass to be the guide for your behavior and decisions. Without a strong set of values, it’s easy to give in to temptation and make choices that don’t serve you. I have a set of values that I use to guide me in my life choices, from my reactions to the people I surround myself with. These values include: honesty, loyalty, authenticity, compassion, integrity, accountability, consistency and consideration.
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