Are you thriving or just achieving? How to think differently in 2013 about “goal setting”.

By Jen Schaeffers

I used to be all about goal setting – both in my personal and professional life. I still am, for the most part. But what I have found in the last few years (since I had two children and life became epically busy) is that I wasn't reaching the goals I was setting out. I felt guilty about that. Why couldn't I work full time, raise two children, run a website, facilitate networking groups, be a mentor, sit on boards AND concurrently train for a half marathon, do the Whistler Gran-Fondo, learn how to sew, lose 10 lbs, go to bed by 10pm every night and read one book a month.

I felt like I was failing.

But I wasn't. I learned I was just setting goals that were out of synch with who I really was and I was experiencing goal fatigue.

According to Lisa Martin “Academics and psychologists have been talking about this for years. Goals don't always motivate you to achieve. They don't necessarily create sustainable change. And – this finding is a doozy – even if you knock these goals out of the park, they don't necessarily cause satisfaction or happiness.”

ACK. Say what? Then why the heck am I beating myself over the head trying to achieve these things?

After a good chat with Lisa, I realized that perhaps I wasn't thriving, I was just achieving. What I need were “tweaks”.

Tweaks are not ‘small goals’. They are actions that align with the bigger picture of your life: your values. As you add more ‘tweaks’ to your life throughout the year, they build upon each other, gathering steam like a locomotive. Before you know it, you have big results and even better – big happiness.

Lisa Martin has launched a fantastic program that I am a huge fan of called The Thrive Guide. The THRIVE Guideis a step-by-step, targeted 52 week online coaching program based on Lisa's method of ‘Tweaking’. To find out more about how you can Thrive, click here.

AND Lisa has provided NetworkinginVan with two free Thrive Guide's to giveaway to NIV community member's (if you're reading this, that's you!)

SO how can you enter?

2 ways:

1. Leave a comment below, telling us how NIV has helped you thrive as a networker (1 entry)

2. Tweet: “I entered to win @lisamartinint Thrive Guide via @networkinginvan. RT to enter.” (1 entry)

We will draw two random winners on January 30th and email/tweet the winners! Good luck.

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3 Responses to Are you thriving or just achieving? How to think differently in 2013 about “goal setting”.

  1. Nicole January 16, 2013 at 12:31 pm #

    I have always thought I was a good networker, but NIV has made me strive to become a GREAT networker! Having a forum that educates people about networking is great, but then also having listings and places to put those learnings to work is invaluable! Thank-you for your great work!

  2. Melanie January 22, 2013 at 7:03 am #

    Hello, well I just started joining these networking circles so I am very excited to go to my first working mom’s night out next week. I think it will open doors and provide a more diverse group of friends. Looking forward to it!!

  3. Jeanne Liu January 29, 2013 at 6:22 pm #

    This sounds very interesting. As thus far, 20 has been a whirlwind of changes, I would love to learn ways to tweak my life and be empowered for success.

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